-The genre is an article and the interest is Detroit sports teams. The rules of the genre are being followed as the paper reads like a genuine sports update. The purpose of the piece is to inform and update. This is made very clear. Some improvement could be made in the transitions between paragraphs/teams the paper is dealing with and the ending, which seems a little abrupt. These problems are very minimal.
-The paper is very detailed and developed. The status of each team is described and back up evidence is provided (i.e. player injuries/new players) More specific win/loss ratios could be provided to further emphasize points made
-The piece is well organized and flows very well. As stated before, improving the transitions between the paragraphs discussing different teams/sports could benefit the flow of the paper slightly. Still, in its current state the paper is very legible and coherent.
-The most memorable factor about the piece is the fact that it actually reads like a sports update. Its tone of the paper is semi formal. The tone and voice are appropriate to the paper as they keep the article legible without making it sound too serious. The paper seems to be targeting various North American sports fans, fans of Detroit teams in particular.
1. What is their Genre? What is their interest? Are the rules of the genre being followed/bent/broken? Which rules? Is the purpose of the piece clear? Give suggestions.
The genre is sports writing, like a news article. Their interest is Detroit teams, hockey, basketball and baseball. The rules of sports writing are being followed as far as I know. I am not very familiar with the genre but this piece sounds like something I would read in the sports section of a newspaper. The purpose is very clear. The writing is really good; even someone like me, with no interest in sports, can connect with this piece and enjoy reading it.
2. Is the piece detailed and fully developed? Give suggestions for expansion.
The piece is very good but it ends abruptly. I don’t know if there is still more to be added but I would suggest a conclusion that briefly recaps all three teams. The details are great. Like I said before, even I can read it and be interested in the topics discussed.
3. Is the piece organized in an appropriate way? Is there anything in the piece that is confusing?
The organization is clear. Good job! No complaints.
4. What is most memorable about the piece? Why? Are the tone and voice confusing?
The tone is like a sports announcer is talking; it really complements the piece. I liked that you talked about the bad teams and the good teams. You explained why some teams have issues and gave subtle hints at how they could fix them.
5. Are there any language and convention issues? Not that I could find. Over all, I really enjoy your writing! Good job!
Matt, Your article seems a bit flat in tone right now. I suggest you work on your tone and transitions. Also include some images with your text. Make sure your end product looks like an article (in columns, appropriate by line and title).
-The genre is an article and the interest is Detroit sports teams. The rules of the genre are being followed as the paper reads like a genuine sports update. The purpose of the piece is to inform and update. This is made very clear. Some improvement could be made in the transitions between paragraphs/teams the paper is dealing with and the ending, which seems a little abrupt. These problems are very minimal.
ReplyDelete-The paper is very detailed and developed. The status of each team is described and back up evidence is provided (i.e. player injuries/new players) More specific win/loss ratios could be provided to further emphasize points made
-The piece is well organized and flows very well. As stated before, improving the transitions between the paragraphs discussing different teams/sports could benefit the flow of the paper slightly. Still, in its current state the paper is very legible and coherent.
-The most memorable factor about the piece is the fact that it actually reads like a sports update. Its tone of the paper is semi formal. The tone and voice are appropriate to the paper as they keep the article legible without making it sound too serious. The paper seems to be targeting various North American sports fans, fans of Detroit teams in particular.
-There are very few language/convention issues.
1. What is their Genre? What is their interest? Are the rules of the genre being followed/bent/broken? Which rules? Is the purpose of the piece clear? Give suggestions.
ReplyDeleteThe genre is sports writing, like a news article. Their interest is Detroit teams, hockey, basketball and baseball. The rules of sports writing are being followed as far as I know. I am not very familiar with the genre but this piece sounds like something I would read in the sports section of a newspaper. The purpose is very clear. The writing is really good; even someone like me, with no interest in sports, can connect with this piece and enjoy reading it.
2. Is the piece detailed and fully developed? Give suggestions for expansion.
The piece is very good but it ends abruptly. I don’t know if there is still more to be added but I would suggest a conclusion that briefly recaps all three teams. The details are great. Like I said before, even I can read it and be interested in the topics discussed.
3. Is the piece organized in an appropriate way? Is there anything in the piece that is confusing?
The organization is clear. Good job! No complaints.
4. What is most memorable about the piece? Why? Are the tone and voice confusing?
The tone is like a sports announcer is talking; it really complements the piece. I liked that you talked about the bad teams and the good teams. You explained why some teams have issues and gave subtle hints at how they could fix them.
5. Are there any language and convention issues?
Not that I could find. Over all, I really enjoy your writing! Good job!
Matt,
ReplyDeleteYour article seems a bit flat in tone right now. I suggest you work on your tone and transitions. Also include some images with your text. Make sure your end product looks like an article (in columns, appropriate by line and title).